My Teacher Is A Machine

Nowadays, Israel is concidered to be a technologically advanced country. As it was published in the famous newspaper, Ha'aretz, Israel owns quite a lot discoveries and inventions that have improved science all over the world. As the years pass by, we notice technology(ww.) inventions can replace manual labor. For instance, the manual labor that was in the past, was replaced by the agriculture machines or even the washing machines. Some researchers claim that technology will continue replacing human's work, even in the field of education. They believe that in the near future, computers will be able to replace teachers. The scientists have confessed, reaching this goal is their next target. They have asserted they are so decisive because they believe that by replacing teachers by(ww. - with) computers, (the) learning process might be more effective.(This introduction is way too long!)

As opposed to those scientists' opinion, I think replacing teachers by(ww.) computers is not a good idea. That is bacause(sp.) by doing so, more people will lose their job(s), and as a result, their fincial condition would be injured(phr.). In addition, many pupils pointed out that their teachers' personal relation to each of them, makes them love the different fields(ww.) and even getting(gr.) exellent grades on(ww.) them. However, by replacing the teachers, the personal relation(ww.) would disappear and thus, the pupils' grades and motivation will probably decrease.

Moreover, some pupils have confessed their teachers are their role model, who tells(ww.) them how to behave and react. They make the students be better people. This and more, (the)computer is an object, who(ww.) does not have any feelings and emotions. If computers replace teathers(sp.), the students will not be able to talk about their worries and difficulties. They would(gr.) become emotionally closed and introverted.

To conclude, I think replacing teachers by machines would cause more harm then(sp.) good. I suggest the scientists to(מיותר) think about it again, and use their abilities for doing(gr.) something better and more challenging, for example, to find(gr.) a solution for Israel problem of environment.(phr.)

(77)

Daphna

Car Accidents

A recent research, that was published last Friday in Ha'aretz newspaper, pointed out that young drivers are involved in many accidents. Moreover, an additional article indicated that most of the car accidents happen because of youth's inadequate decision making. Thus, an organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19.

I support this suggestion and I believe it is a great way to decrease the car accidents. That is because an adult's discretion is more advanced than a young one. Meaning, adults often concider the results of their actions while young people do not, and by that they prevent dangerous driving. In addition, getting a driver's license at the age of 17 causes the students to spend their time focusing on getting the license instead of focusing on school.

However, there is another way to reduce accidents, like having a course every 5 months, in which the drivers would participate in discussions and would refresh their theory driving test. I suggest a rule that would obligate all the drivers to participate in those courses. By participating in those courses, the drivers would be more aware to dangerous situations on the road and would have the tools to deal with complicated situations and prevent accidents.

To conclude, I honestly believe those accidents are preventable. I hope one of the rules I mentioned before would pass, because if it does, I am sure we will notice a significant decrease in car accidents.

Good work. This is better.

(92)

Daphna

The Internet

The internet is an invention that has revolutionized our lives. Today it serves us in varied fields like politics, culture, society, economy and more. It serves as a tool for chatting between people, as an information source, as a media archive and more. It includes a lot of gadgets as games, clock, dictionery, encyclopedia, diary and more. We can find on the Internet everything we want, beginning with a conversation with our friends or available song lists, and ending with available(מיותר) movies lists.

On the one hand, this technological development allows a combination of different activities, as listening to music while chatting with friends. Moreover, it contains usable information that answers varied questions and expanding(gr.) our horizons. In addition, the internet is very accessible. It allows some activities in the same place and at the same time(phr.).

On the other hand, the internet chatting replaces meeting with people. As you begin working with the internet, it is hard for you to stop. This causes laziness that is expressed by not doing homework, not meeting with friends, not doing sports, not attendancing(sp.) in(מיותר) social events and more. The long stay with the computer makes the brain to backslide(phr.) as time goes on.

To conclude, I believe the internet is an excellent invention, which has adventages as well as disadventages. Thus, I think using the internet in moderation will be the best for all of us. However, I believe the internet is not a substitution for meeting friends or playing games. It is important to save our social links and(מיותר), staying as little as possible behind infornt of(phr.) the screen.

Good.This is better.

(83)

Daphna

Social Volunteering Work

(This is an opinion essay regarding the task on page 12 in Practice Papers for Module G).
.
It is not a secret that students' involvement in charity organizations is quite low all over the world. A recently published research pointed out Israel as the seventh country graded by it's low volunteer work. Most teenagers spend their time playing computer games or watching TV. Some even tend to get involved in violent events, while they can use their spare time volunteering in a specific organization or association and helping others.


There are a lot of organizations and places that need the help of those students. Moreover, there are different kinds of volunteer work that can fit every student's personality. In Holon, for instance, some charity organizations function consistently, animal shelters, youth movements and others.


I believe school is the main responsible for the pupils' poor attendance in the varied associations. I suggest schools offer a trophy or an appreciation certificate to those who take part in those organizations and by doing that, I hope, the attendance would increase. In addition, I think the teachers should dedicate a few lessons talking about the huge significance and importance of socical volunteering work.


To conclude, I recommend students to contribute to their community by volunteering and organizing some events to promote the associations' aims. The volunteering itself provides a lot of experience and presents an important challenge that fits any age.

(93)
Daphna

Different Kinds Of Sports

(This is an opinion essay regarding the task on page 8 in Practice Papers for Module G).
.
Some people prefer team sports, while others believe individual sports are better. A research that has been conducted a few weeks ago, indicates that most of the teenagers prefer to exercise with a friend or a team. Another research, however, found out that adults tend to practice by themselves rather than in a team.


Nevertheless, I believe exercising in groups is the best. Exercising with a team increases individuals' motivation and makes them reach their extreme ability. Moreover, a TV show, that was broadcast last week, demonstrated that team sports makes teens feel supported by each other and it improves their performance.


In addition, most of the time individual sports can be quite boring. People might not practice regulary and therfore their physical fitness would not improve. A perfect example for this we can find in the well known TV show Sport Is Good, which emphasizes team sports' advantages and importance and shows interviews with famous gymnasts, that strongly supports team sport.


To conclude, I truly suggest everyone who wants to improve his physical shape to try to do it in a team. I believe it will make you get the best results in less time.

This is better. Good work.
(90)
Daphna

Application for A Course

........................................................................................................12 Kanon Street
........................................................................................................Tel-Aviv
........................................................................................................April 29, 2010

Principal(מיותר)
Harvard University
Cambridge, MA 02138
Massachusetts Hall

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am 23 years old, living in Tel-Aviv, and I understand you have an excellent course in art and photography, that will begin in 3 months. I wish to apply for your course because I find these fields very interesting and attractive and I know your University has the highest grades in America.

I wish to study for my MA and I was extremly disappointed to find out that the art and photography courses offered by the universities in Israel are pretty lame. However, because of my appriciation to those fields I decided not to give up, and try to apply for your course.

In addition, I believe I am able to study at your university. My grades are very high and I got three excellence certificates in high school, Moreover, my degree's project was the best in the class and I was the youngest student between all the students(מיותר) in my class. If you give me the chance to take part in your course, I will not let you down and I will prove (to) you I can get very high grades despite of(מיותר) my age.

I would be grateful if you could send me more information about the course and an application form with it.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Truly yours,

Marco Pollo

Great! I like it.
(94)
Daphna

An Organized Trip

..............................................................................................6 Lahav Street
..............................................................................................Holon
..............................................................................................April 22, 2010
Manger
"See the World" Travel Agancy
85 Salamandra Street
New York

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am (a) 22 years old woman and I have heard your agancy is very successful. I would like you to orgnize(sp.) a trip which I would take part in. I am interested in art and history of(phr. - historical) places. I have had some travels(phr. - I have traveled before ...) in Europe and I was fascinated from(ww. - by) the views I saw and the ancient places I visit(gr.).

I would like to see some landscapes and have picnics in the(מיותר) nature. In addition, I would like to visit some art and history museums. I wish to visit in Spain and visit the Gaudi's Museum and have some time in Gaudi's Park. Moreover, Barcelona is known for it's beauty and there are a lot of amazing places where the trip can be(phr.) - Didn't you read the instructions I gave properly? You were supposed to ask for information for an organized trip in the USA..

Concidering(ww. - Since) museums are expensive, I would like you to check for(מיותר) the price and try the best to make it(phr.) as low as you can. In addition, I would like you to look for esteemed hotels but also, (that are) not very expensive. The last thing I would like to ask you is to check places that have restaurants near them, and more important(ly), which plane will we take and what cost will it be(phr. - I need to know the flight arrangements and costs).

I look forward to this trip and I hope to get your reply, with the information I asked you(ww. - for), soon.

Truly yours,

Marco Pollo.

(75)
Daphna

A New Radio Show

13 Yehood St.
Holon
March 29, 2010

Manager
Local Radio Station
18 Echad Bemay Street,
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Reut and I am 16 years old. I am writing to you because I have heard that you are planning to produce a new one-hour show dedicated just for teenagers in our city's radio station. I believe this kind of show is very important and interesting, but it has to be done right. I have some tips for you, so your show will be best for all; for you, and for us, the teenagers of Holon.

I believe the new program should mostly focus on what teenagers really like; music, movies, television, youth movements and places to hang out. In your show, you should play successful charting(phr.) songs that teenagers like, recommend on(מיותר) new television programs and movies, and suggest the bored teenagers places to hang out or maybe youth movements they can join.

I believe you should focus on these subjects on the program because I believe that when the students are turning(gr. - turn) on the radio, they don't want to hear about politics nor studying. They want to listen to a program about things they like, that will clean their heads, make them calmer and in the end – happier. It will give them their daily hour of happiness in their everyday life.

To conclude, if you want a(an) honorable rating peak(ww.), you should make(ww.- dedicate) the program on(ww. - to) things that teenagers like. No teenager will listen (to) the radio for hearing(phr.) adults talking about studying and coping with social pressure.
Thank you for reading my letter.

Yours truly,

Yarden Shalom.
(88)
Daphna

A Gadna Week

I would like to write about an extraordinary trip I went on about 3 weeks ago. My class and all the 11th graders in my school went on a "Gadna" week, in Sde-Boker, which was extremely great. We experienced some military trainings and we had some classes about values and principles.

The "Gadna" week was supposed to prapere us to be recruited for the army(phr. - for our future recruitment to the army), and I think it succeeded. We were devided into groups and each group had a commander that leaded(gr.) us in the trainings. The commanders taught us how to shoot and how to crawl correctly. At the begining we were shocked but very fast we shot and crawled like a(מיותר) real recruits.

In addition, we had to perform cleaning duties in the bathrooms and in the yards. This experience made us, without a doubt, more mature than we were. It made us more responsible and independent with everything we made(ww. - did), like helping our friends and being on time.

To conclude, I think I was very lucky to go on this trip. I feel my attitude to the army has changed because of the funny(ww.) experience I had. In addition, my social links(ww.) went better(phr.) and I had a great time with my friends.

(90)
Daphna

A Tour To Spain

.. ..............................................................13 Yehood Street
..........................................................................Holon
..........................................................................Fabruary 20, 2010

Manager
Fun Tours agency,
2 Hillel Street,
Tel - Aviv

Dear Sir/Madam,

A week ago, I went on a tour to Spain, organized by your agency, and I was very disappointed from the service I recieved. I wish to complain about the bad experience I had and the unfriendly guide you chose.

Well, when I arrived at the hotel after the exhausting flight, I longed to get some rest before the tour with my team began. However, I was astounded to discover that my room was messy and dirty. I was so offended that I wondered why I paid so much to your company, when the service I got was humiliating.

In addition to the bad hotel you chose, the guide you picked was amazingly unfriendly and irresponsible. He was late all the time, and forgot his books at the hotel. Moreover, the information we got, was boring and uninteresting. He was impatient and did not answear my questions about the history of Spain.

To conclude, my advice to you is that you should check the hotels' situation before you suggest your clients to choose them, so you prevent any discomfort in the future. Either way, I think I should get a refund or a generous compensation for the anguish I had.

I look forward to your reply,

Sincerely yours,

Reut Shiran.

Better. Good work.
(88)
Daphna

Joining Yad Lanizkak

.......................................................................................4 Ha'ogen Street,
.......................................................................................Israel, Holon,
.......................................................................................January 28, 2010

Yad Lanizkak Organization,
64 Hanegev Street,
Bat-Yam

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have read an article about your organization "Yad Lanizkak" and I would like to express my support. I apriciate very much those who help poor families and individuals. I know you are collecting clothes and food for them, and I would like to join it. In addition, I would like to teach the young children some classes I am good at, that would help them in the future.

I am 17 years old, I am a very responsible and disciplined person. I am a devoted teenager and I have a lot of spare time, that I want to spend by focusing all my energy in getting clothes and food for the organization. I concider volunteering very seriously since it saves lives. I am aware that it is not easy, but I think I can deal with it because I have had experienced in volunteering in the last two years.

I volunteered in the association "Tipat Halav", which operated almost like you, for the same target. However, this organization was closed 3 months ago, due to lack of volunteers, and thus, it did not succeed. In any case, since this occurrence I am more motivated and determined to help those helpless people.

In conclusion, I think I am suitable to be a part of your organization and I believe volunteering would make me a better person. I see the volunteering as something that exhaustives one's skills and even improves them. Thus, I wish you accept my application and I would get the chance to improve my skills.

I look forward to your replay.

Sincerely yours,

Reut Shiran.

Better.Good work.
(90)
Daphna