Peer Pressure

"Come on! Try it! It will make you feel better, you will see! Come on, just have a pill...", said Ron to his friend Gal. They were in a party and wanted to feel the happiest in the world. Ron thought the pills would help them forget about their problems and tried to convince Gal to take a pill. Unfortunatly, Gal gave in to peer pressure.

Peer pressure is bad. It makes you do things and not think about the bad results it might have. Some teenagers are influenced by their friends and do things that they don't really want to do. I think this influence is bad and it makes teenagers think unreasonably. Also, the bad influences peer pressure causes cannot be repaired.

However, sometimes peer pressure makes teenagers do things they had never dared but always wanted to do like free falling or rappelling. Their friends exploit it and push them to do those things. In addition, it can help them have lots of friends because the teenagers will think they are "cool" and wonderful. In cases like those, I think peer pressure is good and even effective.

To conclude, I think peer pressure has advantages and disadvantage, and we should think a lot about the results of our actions before we do anything.

This is better, but you still need to clarify some of your statements and rephrase some of your sentences.(90)
Daphna.